


The Walk

by a1y_puff



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Allen is not amused, Alternate Universe, Childhood Friends, F/M, Friendship/Love, M/M, More than love triangle, Slice of Life, but he's also kind of dumb, he thinks Kanda is dumb, is it called love square?, this is a trainwreck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-07
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-11 15:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/479874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1y_puff/pseuds/a1y_puff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It makes Allen almost wants to smack Kanda upside the head, for the longing in Lenalee’s voice is so clear it’s a wonder Kanda actually missed it. Then again, can Allen say the same thing about Lenalee? He certainly won’t hit Lena’s head for not noticing the longing in Lavi’s eye. ”Christ,” Allen mumbles inaudibly. “This is a train wreck.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 50 Sentences Challenge in Infantrum (the Indonesian Fanfiction Author Forum), Set 4.
> 
> Originally posted in fanfiction.net on Sept. 21, 2011

****

  

 

**.Fade.**

Pale fingers comb through soft strands of hair as silver eyes scrutinize the mirror for fading color nearing the roots of brown hair. Allen Walker frowns at his own reflection. He would have to dye his hair again, soon.

"Aren't you tired of doing that all the damn time?" a gruff, semi-mocking question is directed at him from behind for the nth time within the last two years, and Allen sees through the mirror the taller figure standing behind him with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut up," he pouts, "I have to—"

"No one ever said you have to  _change_  your natural color."

A twitch of the eye. "My natural color is auburn."

" _Was_ ," Kanda replies easily, unfazed by the glare Allen is sending him via the mirror. "Now it's white. Get over it."

Almost immediately, Allen whips his head to face his sorry excuse of a friend—if Kanda could even be called that—fully meaning to give the jerk a piece of his mind, but f course, Kanda beats him to it.

"I know someone with blue hair," he starts, halting Allen's words from escaping his throat, "Or neon green, for fuck's sake," Kanda shakes his head as if mourning the stupidity of humanity, then looks back up to Allen. "Yours is just old man hair."

Allen's mouth is closing slowly, and then he turns back to the mirror, once again running his fingers through his hair, slowly.

"Right," he tells Kanda's reflection, "And yours is girly—"

"What the fu—"

"And no one says anything," he adds a little louder, a tad firmer.

Allen can see the contemplative frown on Kanda's features, before his so-called childhood friend throws his face to the side with a soft cluck of his tongue. "Tch, of course. My hair isn't anyone else's business."

A small smile stretches Allen's lips. "Of course."

Kanda doesn't look so surprised when Allen shows up with completely white hair the next day.

 

 

**.Over.**

Allen is used to people staring at him. After all, that 'fancy' scar on his face  _does_  stand out against his pale complexion. Now, with his new choice of hair color—it's his _natural_  color, as Kanda keeps on  _kindly_  reminding him—he really should have expected the amount of stares he's getting.

Yes, white isn't such a weird hair color, if you are not a boy of sixteen.

Still, Allen refuses to give in to this—shame, pressure— _what-fucking-ever_ , as Kanda would put it—because it is his decision, because this is who he is.

He's only thankful that the stares—and whispers, let's not forget the whispers—would subside whenever Kanda is in the vicinity, because his death glare turns the curious stares away and makes the whispers stop.

"They better fucking get over it," Kanda says, to which Allen responds with a smile.

It is Allen who gets 'over it' after a month or so.

 

 

**.Seasons.**

"Eep, cold, cold, cold!" the boy squeaks as the sudden coldness on the top of his head. Looking back over his shoulder, Allen finds Kanda grinning widely, and he pouts. "Will you stop that already?"

Because, really, ever since it started snowing, Kanda had taken a liking to randomly throwing snowballs at him. Especially, at his head. Even more so than  _ever._

Kanda snorts as he is walking over to where Allen is standing. "What? It suits you," he says before outright pressing a snowball on top of Allen's head, making the boy yelp and swat that hand along with the pile of snow away from his head.

Shaking his head rapidly, Allen then looks up at his annoyingly taller companion and frowns. "Not.  _Funny._  Just because I have white hair now—"

"Like I said. It suits you," Kanda says, and for some elusive reason, Allen's stomach kinds of flutters. But then Kanda just /has/ to add, "Bean sprout."

Allen rolls his eyes. "BaKanda."

And no, he isn't smiling.

 

 

**.Face.**

In time, wounds might heal, pain will dull, but scars will be there to stay. A reminder of what you have achieved or what you have done— _suffered_ —complete with the shadows of the burning ache which may be fading as time goes by, but never really forgotten. Depending on how you've gotten the scar, or how you've survived it, it would either be a medal or a curse.

For Allen, it's probably both.

Wrinkled, red fingertips trace down the line starting from a pale forehead, over a closed eyelid and lower to a soft cheek which is starting to lose its baby fat.

This scar, this arm—they are a proof of the tragedy happening a long time ago. One which, for the life of him, Allen can't remember, but it shows up from time to time in his subconscious, visiting on restless nights and waking him up with a scream.

Still, Allen can't remember, and he isn't sure he wants to remember.

" _But you survived,"_  Kanda had told him one day when they both were young and rebellious.  _"Think of it as a medal. That scar on your face looks pretty cool, doesn't it?"_

" _No, it doesn't,"_ Allen had replied then,  _"It's just a gash over my face."_

He remembers Kanda staring at his scar contemplatively, reaching out to trace the scar in curiosity, then,  _"Then make it cooler,"_ the thirteen-year-old Kanda had told him then.

It was the day that, at 11, Allen had a reversed pentagon tattooed on his forehead, somehow. Blame Kanda's weird sense of coolness at the time.

Still, Allen hasn't regretted it until today.

 

 

**.Warm.**

"Move aside, bean. You're eating up space for someone so damn  _small._ "

"Hey! I'm not that small! And this is  _my_  bed."

"Tch."

"…what are you doing here anyway?" is whispered.

Rustling sheets, shifting weights, and Allen is faced with Kanda's frown. "Because a certain someone just  _had_  to wake up screaming in the dead of night and babble nonsense on the phone?"

Allen's cheeks heat up. "Sorry about that. I don't even remember—but umm. I'm fine now, so—"

"So shut up and sleep. Tiedoll already kicked me out here so I'm not going back now."

"Even if your house is like, next door?" Allen teases, earning him a sulky—sleepy?—glare from his temporary bedmate. Not that it deters him, though, because Allen is smiling now.

"Sleep," Kanda hisses out, messing with the blanket until they are covered chest-high. Allen sing-songs his affirmative and shifts in bed—the small space forcing their shoulders and arms to press together, but Allen doesn't mind.

It's warmer this way anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*** * ***


	2. Chapter 2

** **

 

 

**.Cross.**

There is just something in the way Cross' lips lift up to one side, and in that particular tilt of head that Allen finds rather unsettling.

"What?" Allen asks warily, frowning up at his so-called guardian and cannot help to be annoyed that even at sixteen, he still barely reaches the man's shoulder. Damn Cross for being so tall.

Cross simply hums and shifts his gaze back to Kanda who is making himself comfortable in Allen's bed with all his  _I-am-ignoring-you_  glory. "Don't tell me he moved in here while I was away?" he smirks.

 _Oh_   _god,_  Allen groans. Someone who just came home unannounced after disappearing to god knows where has no right to be looking like—like he knows something Allen doesn't. It's bloody annoying. "Of course not, he lives  _next door_."

Cross sneers. "And here I thought Froi was insane when he talked about matchmaking our brats all those years ago," he mumbles to himself, but doesn't bother to lower his voice.

"Wha—"

Kanda snorts from the bed, and Cross' left eyebrow rises higher.

"What in the world are you talking about anyway?" Allen pouts at Cross, which only earns him a rough pat on the head.

"Whatever, for now you're just brats anyway," Cross concludes, and adds, "Prepare me dinner in an hour. Tiedoll's brat better be gone by then."

"But—" but Cross already leaves before either boys can say anything, muttering something about 'brats' and 'too young' and—was that 'gay' he just heard?

 

 

**.Trap.**

Kanda is not the friendliest person in existence, despite his good looks. Sure, he has fangirls. But these girls, aside from annoying the life out of him, are also the source of his haters. Being popular means  _some_  people are bound to be jealous of him.

Kanda just doesn't want to admit he'd been stupid that somehow, those bastards from his P.E. class managed to lock him up in the bloody storage room.

What the heck, he must have been so out of it. He got almost no sleep the night before. It didn't help that when he texted Allen to— _god forbid_ —get help, the kid just _laughed in his face._

Allen did come though, with that lock-picking skill Kanda doesn't even want to know where he'd learned, and  _came to his rescue,_  as the brat had put it.

"Stop. Fucking. Laughing," Kanda bites out through gritted teeth.

Allen does try to stop, but it's really kind of hard. It's not really the notion of some punks managing to kick Kanda in a room and lock him up—well, admittedly, it's kind of hilarious too. But it's Kanda's annoyed,  _'I can't believe I fell into it'_ face that makes the whole thing that much more funny.

"I'm sorry," Allen chokes out through a fit of giggles. "Or actually, no, I'm not sorry—" he barely dodges that fist before it hits his arm, "Hey, now, you better aim that fist over there," he tilts his head to the side.

Kanda looks behind Allen and sees the group of fucktards who had locked him up earlier just walking up obliviously to their direction. The group stiffens as their blood chill, because  _Yuu Kanda_ is staring at them with murder in his eyes.

They don't have time to run before Kanda is grinning menacingly, blocking their escape.

Needless to say, Allen just watches from the sidelines as Kanda beats them up, because,  _really_. Which idiot dares to mess with his Kanda—

Wait. Where did that come from?

 

 

**.Palm.**

"Hmmm… you see the line over here?" Daisya asks as he lightly traces a line from the area just under Kanda's index finger stretching all the way to below his pinky.

Allen stares at Kanda's palm currently in Daisya's hand, trying—and failing—to see what Daisya is seeing from the so-called heart line. He peers closer, until his breath practically caresses the skin of Kanda's palm, and all Allen can see is some small, fine lines forming a long line across his palm.

"This is the heart line, and yours says that—you have an emotional trauma…"

Allen's eyes move up to Kanda's frowning face. He looks almost,  _almost_  serious when he finally notices Allen's stare and immediately pulls his hand away from Daisya's grip. "Tch, this is a load of bull."

"Hey, it's called palmistry," Daisya tells his brother with some kind of a haughty look. "Have you never heard of it?"

"Why are you even interested in this shit? This is so gay."

"Says the one with the long, silky hair."

"You bastard—"

"Now, now, before you two start destroying Mr. Tiedoll's living room, can we get some snack instead?" Allen cuts in when the two not-blood-related brothers look ready To switch from throwing insults at each other into something more physical.

Kanda spares Allen a glance and snorts. "Glutton."

"Hey!"

"Say Allen, do you want me to read your palm too?" Daisya offers with an enthusiastic smile, and Allen is ready to give in to his curiosity and agrees, but, "I'm still learning though, and I can only read left hand for now—"

 _Oh_. Well.

Allen puts on a disarming smile on his face. "Well then I suppose I should wait until you learn to read right palms," he laughs a little, rising his gloved left hand and waving it dismissively. "I doubt even experts can read this."

Right. Allen had shown his hand at some point of their acquaintance, hadn't he? Allen had been certain it was not quite a pleasant sight. But, boys? They have morbid curiosity.

Realization dawns on Daisya then. "Ah…right. Uhh, Sorry, Al," he says, scratching the back of his head and laughing nervously.

Allen simply smiles. "It's okay," because while he is not offended, he'd rather the subject of his left hand isn't brought up too often. So Allen lowers his hand, but then Kanda catches it mid-air.

Allen blinks.

"We have homework," is Kanda's lame excuse before dragging Allen away and up the stairs. It is when they're halfway to Kanda's room that Allen realizes where Kanda is dragging him, and he breaks into a small chuckle. Kanda turns to face him and frowns. "What?"

Allen shakes his head. "Nothing. Homework it is," he says in a light tone, ignoring the way Kanda is looking at him as if he were stupid.

He doesn't mind when Kanda keeps dragging him to his room, because Kanda's bedroom is one of the few places, aside of his own house, inside which Allen feels safe enough to take off the darned glove.

 

 

**.Cheap.**

It is customary for Allen to give  _that smile_  first thing in the morning on this particular day. Kanda doesn't quite remember when exactly this started, probably two or three years ago, but after last year, Kanda kind of gets it.

"Palms up," he commands, and when the brat obeys, Kanda drops a bag of chocolate in his hands, before walking ahead, past a blinking Allen.

Kanda can hear the rustling sounds as Allen catches up with him, eyes and hand searching the bag of chocolate. He hears a faint chuckle, before Allen finally opens his mouth and says in good humor, "These are the cheap kind for kids."

"One," Kanda starts, left eyebrow ticking with annoyance, "They're goddamn chocolates. Doesn't matter if they're expensive or not, they'll give you cavities eventually—"

"I won't get cavities—"

"And  _two_ ," Kanda cuts in, turning to face Allen and pointing an accusing finger under the brat's nose, before continuing, "You're a kid."

"Hey! I'm not" Allen says indignantly.

"Are too. Who the hell uses this Valentine bullshit as a reason to get free candies?"

"Chocolates. And isn't it a tradition in Japan?"

"How the fuck should I know. I wasn't raised there."

"You're Japanese," Allen retorts easily, "or would you rather I ask for flowers instead?" he teases.

Kanda snorts and gives Allen a  _yeah, right_  and snorts. "You wouldn't. Flowers aren't edible."

"Good point," Allen nods to himself, hiding a smile. "Anyway, I was kidding. Thanks for this." And with that, he fishes a piece of chocolate from the bag and plops it into his mouth. "Mmhh, yummy~"

"Good for you," Kanda comments airily, sparing Allen a side glance and seeing the brat's happy face as he  _wolfs down_  on the poor chocolates.

 _Tch,_  he thinks,  _brat is so easy to please._

He wonders if next year he should he buy Allen a  _really_  expensive chocolate and see what kind of face Allen would make.

 

 

**.Wish.**

"Come on, Lenalee, make a wish!"

The small group of people cheers as Lenalee smiles widely, cheeks pinking a little with happiness. Allen cannot help but smile, and thinks it's funny how every time he attends a birthday party, when someone says 'make a wish', the whole room seems to be thinking about their own wishes. He can see it in the way they stare expectantly at the candles as if they were the ones who would low the candles and (hopefully) get their wishes granted.

Allen has his own wish, of course. It's nothing grand, really. Allen is a simple person whose wish is to live another day like this. To be allowed to keep what he has now: his little group of friends at school, an irresponsible guardian, but his guardian nonetheless, the nice family next door and his grouchy childhood friend…

Looking up, Allen peers at Kanda and wonders if he's wishing for something too. Kanda's face betrays nothing—as impassive as always—so he glances around and finds Lavi's single eye glinting with—something. He follows Lavi's gaze and sees Lenalee, and something clicks in his brain.

 _Oh,_ he thinks _, of course._

Allen eyes Lenalee and smiles to himself, wondering if the girl wishes the same. It is then that he sees her eyes sparkle with hopes, and notices it is directed to the person standing next to him.

His eyes widens then, but before he can wonder if what he saw was true, the girl blows the candles and a round of applauds resound in the room.

Glancing tentatively aside, Allen is met with Kanda's gruffly curious, "What?"

Allen shakes his head and smiles.

"It's nothing."

He woders if it's really _nothing_.

 

*** * ***

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Christ,” Allen mumbles inaudibly. “This is a train wreck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is getting somewhere...

** **

 

 

**.Melody.**

There is a grand piano at Cross' living room. Allen never knows Cross actually plays, so he suspects it is there just for decoration. Cross, after all, loves sophisticated things. And this beauty here fits perfectly in the spacious living room with a classic design dominated by black and white furnitures. Everything in here will probably put any ordinary people into a lifetime debt. Allen doesnt even want to know where Cross gets all that money to create 'such a perfect place to impress women', as Cross had put it.

Allen snorts.

Resuming his cleaning duty, Allen carefully wipes the petite grand piano, making sure the already shiny black surface free of any dust. Despite never playing it for all the time he has lived in this house with Cross, Allen has always cleaned the piano with care. After all, he does love the piano. He used to play it at some point in his life where he has barely any memories left.

His fingers absently touch the keys then while his mind wanders, working on its own to recall a familiar melody. Before Allen knows it, his fingers move across the keys. Slowly and a little awkwardly. His fingers move tentatively across the key, clumsy and out of practice. A twitch forms on his eyebrow when the sound produced isn't as good as it should be.

Then, his lips move almost in reflex, singing to an old lullaby that he is surprised he still remembers.

 _Then the boy fell asleep_  
and one or two ambers in the fading ashes of the fire  
flared up in the shape of a beloved face

His fingers slowed down when a mix of nostalgia and unpleasant feelings twist his gut.

"Mana..."

"What song is that?"

Allen jerks in surprise at the new voice. Turning his head, he finds Kanda leaning on the wall near the entrance with his hands folded over his chest. Allen lets out a breath. "What are you doing here?"

Kanda shrugs. "The old man wanted me to invite you and Cross for dinner tonight. He could have just called, but Tiedoll was never good with cell phones."

Allen chuckles at the remark. "Give the poor man a break. Technology isn't always best friends with elder people," he comments, to which Kanda just snorts lightly.

"So. What were you singing? I didn't even know you play the piano."

There was a slight accusation tone in Kanda's words. Probably he feels a little betrayed that for all these times they have been some sort of best friends, Allen never plays piano in front of him. Or tells him that he does.

"A lullaby," Allen barely mumbles the words as his head is suddenly filled with bittersweet memories. "I haven't played the piano in a while now. It's something I did before I came here, you know."

Kanda probably doesn't, but Allen doesn't really feel like elaborating. He knows Kanda wouldn't push anyway. Or, well. Hopefully.

Kanda eyes him for a moment, but before Allen has the chance to get uncomfortable, Kanda opens his mouth to say, "Your singing voice isn't all that great."

"Well, sorry for not being a singer," Allen retorts, eyebrow twitching with annoyance.

"At least you're not tone-deaf," his sorry excuse of a best friend says again, earning an offended look from Allen.

"Like I said, I'm not—"

"It's not bad," Kanda cuts in, and for some incomprehensible reason, Allen's heart kinds of skips a bit. "Now go tell your _Master_ —" Kanda says this in a mocking tone, "—to come at seven. I'm going back to help the old man."

With that, Kanda simply turns on his heels and leaves without another word. Allen watches him go while muttering under his breath about a certain jerk who comes and goes as he pleases—bad memories and unpleasant feelings the lullaby had brought him now forgotten.

.

.

.

**.Sing.**

It had taken a lot of efforts, especially on Allen's part, to even convince Kanda that going to karaoke was not that ridiculous of an idea as Kanda had always thought.

It took Lenalee a little bit of persuasion, added by some cajoling with that sweet, sweet voice and those big pleading eyes before finally, Kanda gave in and actually went with them.  
Lavi had watched with half-amusement, and half—something Allen could not quite name yet—as Lenalee happily _dragged_ Kanda along the streets with the other two guys following behind.

Well. No one could actually deny the only girl in this group, Allen thinks.

So here they are now, in a small Karaoke room somewhere downtown, singing their throat dry.

The dimmed room is filled with the blaring music from the sound system, the bass so deep it shakes the whole room with every beat. Above them is a lamp in the shape of a disco ball, its colorful LED lights changing colors from red to green to blue until Kanda claims—in the middle of his duet with Lavi—they're hurting his eyes, _dammit_.

The fact that Kanda would actually sing is kind of amazing. Him singing with Lavi? Well—it only proves Allen's theory that Kanda actually enjoys having some companies instead of being the anti-social jerk he seems to be portraying all along. Not that Allen had ever bought the act.

The duet is on Bohemian Rhapsody, courtesy of a challenge by Lavi and helped with Allen's taunts of— _are you afraid to sing your favorite song?_ Sometimes, Allen wonders why Kanda keeps on falling for the same trick Allen always uses to get him to do something.

Glancing to the side, Allen sees the gleam in Lenalee's eyes. Her emerald eyes are obviously _shining_ despite the dim lighting. She cheers to the singing boys, shaking the tambourine and singing along. Allen can see how Lavi's voice gets just a little louder whenever Lenalee calls out his name, or the way Lenalee's starry eyes are more often dedicated to Kanda's falsetto, the sway of Kanda's body, or well—Kanda in general.

When the duet is over, Kanda shoves the mic under Allen's nose. "Your turn," he says menacingly.

Allen's smile is firmly in place. "Why don't we give the lady a chance to showcase her beautiful voice?"

"The _Lady_ already has her microphone," he hears Lavi say, and turns his head in time to see Lavi patting Lenalee's shoulder, gently.

"Can I have a solo?"

Allen gladly grants her wish.

He regrets it almost immediately when Lenalee begins to sing. Of _course_ , he thinks as Lenalee's soft voice begins to float in the room. She is singing _Adele's_ song.

 _You've been on my mind_  
_I grow fonder every day_  
_Lose myself in time_  
_Just thinking of your face_

Allen is sure Lavi does not miss the way Lenalee keeps glancing at Kanda. The long-haired prick in question, though, has his eyes trained on his phone, reading an incoming message.

 _I dare you to let me be your, your one and only_  
_Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms_  
_So come on and give me the chance_  
_To prove that I'm the one who can_  
_Walk that mile until the end starts_

It makes Allen almost wants to smack Kanda upside the head, for the longing in Lenalee's voice is so clear it's a wonder Kanda actually missed it.

Then again, can Allen say the same thing about Lenalee? He certainly won't hit Lena's head for not noticing the longing in Lavi's eye.

"Christ," Allen mumbles inaudibly. "This is a train wreck."

.

.

.

**.Secret.**

Once upon a time, during a boring day in which Allen was lazily browsing random internet facts, he read about [a study on women's inability to keep a secret](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6199822/Women-cannot-keep-a-secret-for-longer-than-47-hours.html). The news article he had read back then was a study conducted on 3000 British women. No matter how personal or confidential the information, one in 10 women admitted to being unable to keep a secret, while almost half who took part said they'd often felt the need to offload their secrets to someone, wrote the article.

So, when Lenalee drags him in the middle of lunch break to a more secluded area of the inner campus garden, Allen is not more surprised rather than he is dreading of what Lenalee would tell him.

If a woman cannot keep a secret for long, they certainly cannot keep a secret _crush_. Especially when it _is_ a secret crush.

"Do you know if Kanda likes anyone?"

Well. "Umm. Not that I'm aware of." Then, for good measure, he adds, "I don't even think he has any interest in romance."

 _Allen Walker_ , reprimands the voice in his head, _you're supposed to give a neutral answer, not one that would crush the heart of a girl in love_.

"I see," Lenalee casts her eyes down, dejectedly. But the next second, her head is raised, and the light in her eyes shine brighter. "But that means _I_ have a chance, right?"

"If you put it that way…" Allen trails off, a finger idly scratching his cheek. He doesn't know how to answer this. On one hand, he doesn't want Lenalee heartbroken. On the other hand, this is _Kanda_. She probably will get her heart broken. "Umm… may I know… why do you even bother?"

Lena gives him a look which says _boys_. "Because I like him, so I want to try," she says matter-of-factly, if a little shyly, making Allen feeling _just_ a little stupid.

He laughs nervously.

"I know Kanda is difficult, so it's not like I'm going to bombard him or anything. I'll take it slow. So keep this a secret, okay?"

"Mmkay…"

"Even from _Lavi_ ," she emphasizes. Briefly, Allen wonders if this means Lenalee actually notices Lavi's feelings… and well, it's impossible to begin with, keeping a secret from Lavi. Especially something like this. Allen is quite sure Lavi knows already.

It is wiser to pretend to be clueless, though. "Understood," he replies cheerily.

"Thanks," the girl throws a soft smile his way, then hesitates. "Umm. I have your support… right? I mean, since you're his best friend and all…"

Somewhere, something is tugging lightly at his chest. Twisting in an uncomfortable way Allen doesn't know of, and decides to pay it no mind.

He smiles. "Of course."

.

.

.

**.Close.**

Maybe, it is something that Allen has notices subconsciously all along, but given the opportunity, Lenalee always sits close to Kanda. Or walk by his side. And probably, she is at the top list of exemption where Kanda actually tolerates and—dare he say it— _enjoys_ a presence of the opposite gender.

The girls at school adore Kanda, yes. And so are the female teachers. Or female shopkeepers. Bystanders. You name it. Female _adore_ Kanda, for his rather exotic beauty—Kanda would kill him if he heard Allen using that word—his broad shoulders, silky hair, high cheekbones and strong jaws.

Kanda is a universally-accepted epitome of Good Looking.

So the general female population would _fawn_ over him, which does not work well with Kanda's rather anti-social nature.

But Lenalee? Kind, sweet, loving Lenalee is one of the very few female who are not blinded by Kanda's look. She sees Kanda for the person that he is, and treats him as an equal, a companion; not putting him on some kind of imaginary pedestal.

So, when she says she likes Kanda, Allen believes it is because of who Kanda is, and it makes him want to root for her, but—

"Hey, Kanda, there's something in your hair…"

"Hmm?"

"Hold still," she says gently, before reaching up to run her fingers in Kanda's hair and pick a small piece of dust which was formerly stuck in his ponytail. "There."

"Thanks," Kanda mumbles and continues to walk, Lenalee trailing beside him.

Allen wonders if, one day, Lenalee would really able to make Kanda see romance. With her.

.

.

.

**.Heart.**

Kanda's profile, Allen decides, always looks less menacing when he has his hair tied at the base of his nape. He only does this when he's at home, after taking a long, nice shower before going to bed. He knows this particular habit of his childhood friend for they have had countless sleepovers.

Tonight is one such a night, when Allen is in no mood to be in that big, empty house. Cross has gone off to god-knows-where for the nth time. And Allen has been having a lot in mind, lately.

"Stop that," Kanda says irately, glaring from his position at the desk to Allen who is currently occupying Kanda's bed while staring at nothing in particular.

"Stop what?" Allen draws his eyebrows.

Kanda frowns at him, the kind that is questioning his sanity—or sometimes, concerns, Allen is still having difficulties telling them apart. "Looking at my face and then sighing. What is your problem?"

Oh. Well. Then apparently, he has been staring at Kanda. Okay.

"Why do you have to be so good looking?" Allen blurts out before he could even stop himself. Then, as if to amend, he adds, "Totally not fitting your shitty personality."

Kanda simply snorts, returning his attention to the screen of his laptop. "And it's a problem because?"

"You're breaking innocent girl's hearts. That is horrible."

Again, those deep blue eyes stare at him as if he was crazy. "What the fuck is this about?"

 _I'm afraid you're going to break Lenalee's heart_ , Allen's mind supply helpfully, but of course, he would never say it. Lenalee would definitely kill him with some of her Taekwondo moves. That would hurt.

"Nothing."

Allen can feel Kanda's eyes on him, scrutinizing his face as if willing his head to crack open so Kanda could see what's in it. It's kind of a creepy look, but also—what the hell is his heart doing, skipping a beat like that?

"Am I breaking _your_ heart?"

The question nearly makes his heart stop. "What? No! What the _hell_ —"

"Then it's not your goddamn problem."

Allen falls silent at that. He watches as Kanda works on his laptop, promptly ignoring Allen's existence in the bedroom.

He ponders on Kanda's words.

Yeah. Just because Lenalee told him her little secret, doesn't mean he is responsible for her feelings towards Kanda.

Better to just watch from the sidelines.

 

 

.

*** * ***

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I know I fail at updating. And yes I still very much CARE for my other fic, Days Passing By. Will definitely finish it sometime this year. It's just that I am now concentrating in writing actual books to be published IRL (I have one published this month and another which is due next month) sooo. Yeah. I still love fanfics though! :D
> 
> Kindly leave your comments, I would very much love it :)
> 
> ETA: The study Allen was reading in this chapter is an actual study conducted in 2009. The study was commissioned by Michael Cox, UK Director of Wines of Chile, to mark Chile's National Day .


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lenalee is ogling, and Lavi is watching Lenalee ogling at Kanda and Allen wants to bash his head against the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dearies!  
> As I mentioned before, I am officially back into the fandom. And yesss! This is an update, after a while. :”) I hope many of you are still with me. :D
> 
> Okay so about this chapter. I suppose this is a “development” chapter? This will have Lenalee-Kanda backstory, and Lavi is getting more screen time. Be warned though, that this chapter contain shifting tenses (I use past tense in flashbacks and present tense in current timeline) and also switching POV, as I need to explore more from other characters as well. I hope this will still be enjoyable nonetheless. :)
> 
> P.S. Because someone pointed out to me via review. If anyone ever wondered about the research Allen randomly stumbled upon in the Part 3’s ‘Secret’ story, where it said ‘women cannot keep secret’, it is it's an actual study commissioned by Michael Cox, UK Director of Wines of Chile, to mark Chile's National Day in 2009. You can find it if you google "women can't keep secret longer than 47 hours". It was a stupid study, yes, but don’t we all at some point stumble upon something weird in the internet and then end up reading it anyway? Yeah, that was what happened to Allen, too. 
> 
> Well, enjoy the chapter!

 

 

**.Young.**

Lenalee first met Kanda during her first year of high school. Being of Asian descent, she wasn’t the tallest of the kids, and her lithe, delicate built gave off a fragile impression.

But she was pretty and smart and she had this sweet, sweet smile.

The boys had noticed that, though Lenalee herself never paid attention to such looks and whispers. Having a pampering, sister-complex for a big brother, Lenalee thought the stares the boys were giving her as nothing.

The girls noticed, however, and they did not like it.

They started mildly enough. Just hiding her books or pencils, occassionally throwing small things at her when she wasn’t looking. It got worse faster than she could blink, and before she knew it, most of the girls in her year were shunning her.

In the third week of her being ignored, the boys started to divert their eyes. Started to think it was embarassing to think Lenalee Lee was cute, because she was the enemy of the girls.

Entering the sixth week, no one would even speak to her.

She started eating alone during lunch break, choosing to hide on the rooftop or the empty science room or sometimes, just the corner of her classroom. Thankfully, Komui always cooked her lunch, so she did not have to go to the cafeteria and met those hatefull gazes and mocking whispers. But she couldn’t completely escape even at her hiding places.

It was on the ninth week that she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

There was an old, big tree in the school’s backyard. Rumors had it that the tree was haunted, so few people dared to actually be around. Located at almost the very back of the garden, the tree was surrounded with bushes and tall grass. Took an effort to actually reached the place. But Lenalee was desperate enough to seek solace to venture into that ‘sacred’ teritory.

The big tree grew on a small hill made by uneven ground. Lenalee sat down and leaned against the trunk and opened her lunchbox. From where she was seated, she could see the other kids from afar. She could see them laughing and playing and just talking to each other, yet she was so far she could barely hear them over the sound of rustling leaves.

It felt so peaceful and yet so, so...

Alone.

And before she knew it, her shoulders were shaking and she started sniffling and she had to put down her lunchbox to avoid making a mess and—

And she just felt so _alone_.

“Oi, that’s my spot.”

Lenalee’s hand froze in the middle of wiping her tears away and looked up to find another Asian—boy, right? The posture and voice suggested that he was a boy, but his face was so pretty he could be mistaken as a girl, if one did not see the sharp jawline.

“That’s my spot. My place. If you’re done crying, could you leave?” the boy asked again.

“O-oh I’m sorry I didn’t know—I just... I just...” Lenalee quickly wiped her tears away and moved to pick her lunchbox, but then—“I don’t... have anywhere else... to go...”

And it hit her right then. That she had no place in this school. That she was so lonely and her tears started spilling again despite herself and another bout of sniffling was coming and—

“Okay, okay, stop crying—tch.” The boy searched his pants pocket hastily and produced a handkerchief while muttering about ‘the old man’ and ‘crybabies’ and ‘another kid he would have to deal with’.

Nonetheless, he offered the handkerchief and Lenalee took it, wiped her tears, and then blew her nose on it.

She only looked up when the ponytailed boy dropped himself not too far beside her and grumpily started biting into his sandwich.

“Umm,” she started after feeling calm enough. “I’m so sorry. I’ll wash the handkerchief and return it tomorrow.”

“S’fine,” the boy replied in-between chews. His brows were knitted and his general expression just looked angry.

Lenalee lowered her head, not knowing what to do. She was scared of this boy, yes, but—

“Aren’t you going to eat your lunch?” he asked when she did not move and Lenalee turned to him, eyes widening by a fraction.

“I... can?”

She was replied with a frown.  “Of course, it’s yours. Why do you even ask?”

“No, I mean... I can eat here?”

At that, the pretty boy clucked his tongue softly and went to threw his gaze to the front. “Didn’t you say you have nowhere else to go?”

Lenalee’s eyes started to water again, and the boy just looked at her, sighed, and reached out a hand to thumb her tears away. “Stop crying already.”

Heat rose to her cheeks jus as the boy pulled away. “I’m sorry to bother you,” she said.

He simply snorted. “I’m used to crybabies like you. There’s one at home.”

“Oh? A younger sister?”

The pretty boy looked like he tried so hard to swallow his food and not _laugh_. “No. Just the kid next door. A boy.”

Lenalee couldn’t help but smile a little. “You don’t look like the type who likes kids.”

“I don’t. I’m just stuck with him. Somewhat.”

Despite his words, Lenalee could see his eyes softened and that tiny almost-smile on his lips. Which, in turn, put a smile on her own face.

Later that day, she learned the boy’s name. Yuu Kanda, a second year.

The next day, Lenalee came back to eat lunch under that big tree again, waiting for Kanda so she could return the handkerchief.

Kanda said nothing when she came for lunch the day after, and then the next day, and the following day. Two weeks later, Lavi started joining them—practically latching himself onto Kanda and refusing to leave even with all the threats Kanda threw at him—and Lenalee’s school days just got all that much brighter.

It was about a month later that things started to change for her. She was walking down the corridor trying to _not_ listen to a group of girl badmouthing her just a few feet away—and then they suddenly stopped. It was then that Lenalee noticed Kanda walking from the opposite direction while glaring at the girls behind her. He stopped next to Lenalee, gave the girls a good, long, degrading look, before putting a hand on top of Lenalee’s head and told the girls, “Shut your rotten mouths, you all are just polluting the air.”

That day, Lenalee found out that Kanda was highly popular among the students—especially the girls, and that getting on his bad side was something no one wanted to achieve. That day, it was known by the whole student population that Lenalee Lee was a friend of Yuu Kanda and therefore not one to be messed with.

That day, something grew in Lenalee’s chest for Kanda.

Then, the next academic year rolled around and Kanda introduced her to Allen Walker who just enrolled as a freshman. It didn’t take long for Lenalee to notice that Allen was Kanda’s ‘crybaby from next door’.

.

.

.

**.Teacher.**

Allen’s house is more often than not empty, as Cross is barely home for a long period of time. Thus, this little group of four has somehow agreed to make the house their base camp. Besides, it’s the only place Kanda is actually willing to spend a lot of time in after school, due to his antisocial nature—or really, he’s just lazy, Allen thinks.

Right now there are only the three of them in Cross’ living room: Allen, Lenalee, and Lavi, who in his free time would kindly and gladly tutor the two, especially nearing exams period like now. Kanda had to go home first and helped Tiedoll with something, but he is only next door, so they made him promise to come later.

“See, here’s how you solve the equation,” Lavi’s hand danced across the paper with such ease, reminding the two that this clown of the group is actually the smartest of them all.

Lenalee nods her head and lets out small ‘ooh’s and ‘aah’s in understanding every time Lavi shows her the easy way to solve a math problem.

They are sitting to next each other on the carpet, making it easy for Allen who sits across them at the low coffee table in his living room, to observe. Lavi’s voice, Allen notices, is a little different whenever he talks to Lenalee. Like now, his tone is lower than usual and a little hushed. The kind of voice one would use around a lover—Allen is pretty sure Lavi doesn’t realize he’s doing this. The guy rarely slips. It must be because Kanda isn’t around and Allen himself is pretty much forgotten by this point.

He feels like an intruder in his own house. So Allen excused himself to his room, saying he needs to change his clothes and wear something warmer and ask a _would you like some hot tea?_

When he returns, wearing a black loose knitted cardigan and carrying a tray of jasmine tea, Allen had to pause in the doorway.

Apparently, Lavi just said something funny to Lenalee and made her laugh, and boy they are _so close_ why can’t Lena just fall in love with Lavi? It would be easier for her.

Then again, with Lavi, things could be unexpectedly complicated.

.

.

.

**.Two.**

“I swear that old man is only making me do stuff to annoy me.” Kanda stepped into the living room about an hour later, wearing that cream, oversized and _fluffy_ sweater Tiedoll bought them for Christmas last year. He didn’t even knock, let alone say hello. Then again, Allen is used to it.

He feels the need to point it out anyway, just for the hell of it. “I believe you should at least knock when entering someone’s house, _BaKanda_.”

Kanda’s hair, now left untied and still a little wet, swished lightly when he turned his head to glare half-heartedly in Allen’s direction. “Shut up, bean sprout. The door was unlocked, so why do I have to knock?”

“In case you didn’t know, there’s such thing called ‘common courtesy’.”

“Oh, you dorks,” Lavi cuts in. Allen is _glad_ Lavi’s voice is normal now. “You bicker like some old married couple.”

“Shut up, Lavi,” both Allen and Kanda chorused, which only adds to the redhead’s amusement.

Kanda unceremoniously drops himself on the cozy leather couch behind Allen with a huff, fiddling with his cream sweater and making himself comfortable while ignoring the way his leg is poking Allen’s head and shoulder—and the boy’s protests—in the process.

Allen simply rolls his eyes and returns to his homework. He doesn’t need to offer drinks to Kanda—the jerk knows         his way around this house.

And—that’s when Allen notices Lenalee stealing glances. _Of course_ , Allen thinks. _Must be his hair._ Kanda rarely ever lets his hair down. While Allen is no stranger to such a view, it is rare for the other two in their group to see Kanda so— _relaxed_.

Lenalee is ogling, and Lavi is watching Lenalee ogling at Kanda and Allen wants to bash his head against the table—

“Hey Allen,” Lenalee snaps him out of that train of thought.

Looking up, he finds her looking intensely at him—or his clothes, to be precise—before moving her gaze to Kanda’s lounging form on the couch. And back at him again. “Umm, yeah?” Allen asks tentatively.

“Your sweater… it looks really similar to Kanda’s,” she tries to laugh, but Allen notices the strange tone in her voice.

Kanda, though, is as oblivious as ever. “My old man got that for the bean for his birthday. Christmas,” he answers for Allen, all the while fiddling with his phone on the couch. “Bought me the same thing, too. I don’t know why _he_ got the black one, though.”

“Oh geez, you’re still bitter about it?” Allen rolls his eyes. “Mr. Tiedoll already told us the black one was only available in my size.”

“Pfft—” Lavi bursts out laughing a few seconds later. “That is so precious. Almost like, what, Couple Sweaters?” he snickers.

Allen nearly chokes on his own saliva from Lavi’s comment. His eyes immediately focus on Lenalee’s face. She is smiling, but Allen knows all too well that _that_ is _not_ a genuine smile. He tries to amend the situation. “More like _brothers._ ” he retorts finally.

Behind him, Kanda snorts unhelpfully.

.

.

.

**.Kind.**

Allen is generally unhappy after receiving a call from Cross. This is usually marked by stress lines forming between his eyebrows, pouting lips, and low grumbles after the phone call is disconnected.

However, this time is an exception. It’s rare, and the probability of Cross ever calling to bring some good news is still incredibly low, but it does happen. Sometimes.

“Cross said Anita is coming,” Allen tells the whole room when they all look at him, questions hanging in the air.

“Who is Anita? She has a pretty name,” Lavi grins.

Allen tilts his head, seemingly considering his answer for a moment. But it’s not like Lenalee and Lavi don’t already know he was fostered by Cross. “She helped take care of me before—when Cross had just taken me in and had to go back and forth to take care of the administration and prepare a house for us to live in. And she helped us settle in here…”

Kanda’s brain suddenly recalls a very vague memory of a black-haired woman he had seen from his front yard when he was a child. That was from before Cross had properly introduced himself and Allen to his family, if he was not mistaken.

“Even after we moved, they kept in touch. But this is going to be the first time she visits us here,” Allen goes on with a tone so fond it gets Kanda to stare at him with a raised eyebrow and a barely disguised curiosity. “She’s a very beautiful and kind lady, I still can’t believe she is acquainted with Cross.”

 “Is she your first love or something?” Kanda asks without thinking, unaware of the curious glance Lenalee throws at him.

Allen blinks at Kanda and then he laughs. “What? No, nothing like that… I mean, I do admire her, but it’s more like… how do you put it…”

“What?” Kanda prompts, and the small group note how Kanda is showing a great deal of interest, coming from him. Even if he’s trying not to show it.

Allen hums softly, trying to find the right sentence to describe Anita, and then a bulb lights up in his head. He throws a fond smile at Kanda as he replies, “She’s probably the closest to a mother I’ve ever had.”

.

.

.

 **.** **Shadow.**

The exam week is generally disliked by most students. Except ones like Lavi, who could write his answers in his sleep and still get a perfect score—it comes with many, many dirty looks from his peers, though. Including from Allen, who is now giving Lavi a pout.

It is the last day of exams, and while most of them rejoice for no more _damned tests_ , there is also this fear of not doing well enough. Well, Allen is pretty sure he would at least _pass_ , but Cross could be a bitch when he doesn’t at least get a B. At times like this, he’s somewhat jealous of Lavi—he never sees Lavi studies and yet look at his grades!

“Aww come on, Allen, don’t pout at me or I might want to kiss ya!” Lavi ruffles Allen’s hair, making the latter’s eyebrows furrow a little deeper.

“Shut up, Lavi. I’m currently mad at you.”

“Ouch! I’m hurt!” Lavi fakes a painful expression while clutching at his chest, and Allen is trying to fight a smile.

From where they are standing in the school lobby, they catch sight of Lenalee walking down the corridor, wearing a forlorn expression. When she notices them, her lips form a weak smile.

“I don’t think I did good enough.” Lenalee sighs as soon as she is close enough with the other two.

Lenalee is grade-conscious. Having a scientist for a brother probably does that to her. Even though Komui doesn’t look it most of the time, he _is_ a brilliant scientist in the robotics field—if he actually tries instead of messing around creating weird, malfunctioning robots just for fun. Lenalee herself is smarter than most of her year, but she wouldn’t be satisfied if she is not at least on the top three—thus putting unnecessary pressure on herself.

“I’m sure you did just fine, Lenalee,” Allen says amiably, giving the girl a pat on the shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m sure you are, don’t worry to much,” Lavi smiles at her and—that is. All.

That is when Allen realizes something. While Lavi is generally touchy-feely, he never so much as giving Lenalee a friendly pat on the shoulder... does he? Why is that?

It doesn’t match up... with what Allen perceives as how Lavi feels about Lenalee.

“Hey, why don’t we all—”

“Oi,” Lavi’s words were cut short when Kanda suddenly appears from behind Lenalee, raising an eyebrow at the rather heavy atmosphere. He looks at Lavi, then turns to Allen—and when Allen’s eyes shift to Lenalee, Kanda finally notices her dispirited posture. “What is it?”

Allen could swear Lenalee’s cheeks are pinking now. He immediately glances at Lavi, trying to find a reaction, but—he just watches them. Lavi simply watches even as Lenalee spills her worries, watches as Kanda clucks his tongue softly and tells her not to worry about it and asks her if she wants to drop by somewhere on their way home.

Lenalee’s eyes light up. Lavi’s subtly dim. Allen doesn’t miss any of it and he wonders how Kanda can be so. _Dense_.

“You two are coming, right?” Kanda addresses both Allen and Lavi.

Whatever it was that was in Lavi’s eye mere seconds ago has disappeared, Allen notes, as Lavi puts on a smile and says, “S’ry, would love to but gramps wanted me back early today.”

 _Why is he lying?_ Allen’s mind screams. Wasn’t Lavi about to suggest all of them going somewhere before Kanda came?

So now why—

“Oi, Sprout. Let’s go.” Kanda tilts his head.

Allen steals a glance at Lavi, then at Lenalee’s half-expectant-half-worried look, and puts on a smile much similar to Lavi's as he replies, “Sorry, I have to go home soon, too. I told you Anita is visiting, right? I should prepare her room or Cross would bitch at me again.”

Kanda frowns at him but says nothing.

The four of them walk together to the school gate before splitting up—and both Lavi and Allen watch as Lenalee walks up to Kanda’s side. Allen watches as their backs disappear down an intersection, then he glances up at Lavi.

Lavi’s mask slips. Allen opens his mouth, and—

“Don’t ask, Al.”

Allen’s mouth snaps shut.

Lavi’s tone is—different. He’s still smiling, but his voice is so cold Allen can almost feel the chill down his spine.

So Allen keeps silent, even as he sees the shadow on Lavi’s now somber expression.

.

.

.

**.tbc.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to know if you're still interested in this story and what you think of this chapter. :")  
> Please drop me a word if you are reading this. Thank you! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to know what was up with you and the rabbit. You freaks were acting weird.” While Kanda is generally dense, he has this internal freaky radar for picking up distress signals. So he probably had seen through Lavi. And Allen himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeep! sorry for the long wait! But I have something special for you, my lovely readers, in this chapter. :)
> 
> There will be a tiny extra scene at the end of this chapter. And there will also be a really gorgeous accompanying fanart courtesy of the awesome [panda-doodle-diary](http://panda-doodle-diary.tumblr.com/)! I hope these made up for the long wait.
> 
> Also thank you [Harmony283](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Harmony283/pseuds/Harmony283%22) for beta-reading this as always. :)
> 
> Now please enjoy!

 

 

 

**.Sigh.**

The guest room in Cross’s House is located on the first floor, just a few steps away from the living room. It is not very big with a simple design. Cross didn’t spend too much effort ~~s~~ lavishing the bedroom, but it is at least draped in a nice, flowery, soft beige wallpaper and adorned with a couple of Tiedoll’s nature paintings to give some touch to the otherwise boring, impersonal room.

Allen is putting on the beddings now, which gives color and warmth to the white sheets underneath it.  Anita probably won’t stay too long, but he wants to make sure she will be as comfortable as she can get during her stay here.

He has a feeling Cross will also spend some nights in _this_ room, and he wonders if he should prepare a bottle of wine on the bedside table. Allen is only a little horrified at the idea of having to _hear_ them and he dearly hopes the walls are thick enough and that no sound will escape this room and carry over upstairs. Allen thinks of putting a carpet here for good measure.

Or. He could bid the lovebirds adieu and spend the night at Kanda’s place when it comes to that.

His mind decides to wander to his childhood friend and his supposed… date… with Lenalee. While Kanda might not think that way at all, Allen is sure that’s how Lenalee sees it. A date. After school. Probably at that small café which serves waffles and coffee.

Allen can see Lenalee ordering some waffles with vanilla ice cream on top and Kanda sipping his coffee while eyeing the waffle with mild disdain. He was never good with sweet food, after all.

What would they be talking about, he wonders. Perhaps about school. Maybe Kanda will, in his own absurdly kind way, comfort Lenalee about her worries. Maybe, Lenalee will comment on the T-shirt Kanda wears underneath his red button down shirt—which he’s left open. It’s a white tee with a picture of a cartoon panda, sipping tea while sitting on top of a snail. Random, yes. Allen gave that T-shirt as a joke gift for his birthday last year.

Allen sighs to himself and stares down at his phone. It’s been an hour. No messages from Lenalee, so they might still be together.

Somehow, Allen feels a little lonely.

.

.

.

**.Side.**

Music always helps Allen calm his mind when he’s alone. It’s an older habit, to just plug his ears and play some of his favorite songs from his iPod at nearly maximum volume, letting the lyrics and the sound of instruments drown his thoughts.

Like now, he’s curled up in bed, facing the wall with both ears plugged so he very nearly jumps out of his skin when suddenly, one of his ear buds is pulled out and a new voice flows into his ear.

“What the hell was that about?”

Immediately, Allen turns to face the intruder and—Kanda’s face is dangerously close above him, what with the way he leans over Allen, one eyebrow raised.

“Wh—what—how did you get in?” Kanda thumbs at the open window. Allen gives him a scandalized look. “Why didn’t you just ring the doorbell? Or called my _phone,_ for God’s sake!”

Kanda lets out a snort. “Already tried, _moron_ , but clearly, you didn’t hear any of it,” he retorts while holding Allen’s ear bud between his thumb and forefinger. “And is that my shirt?”

Allen’s cheeks heat up and he closes his eyes, hand searching blindly beside his pillow to turn off his iPod and pulls out the other ear bud. Then, he shifts to lie on his back and frowns up at Kanda. “Don’t know, it was in my wardrobe,” he responds defiantly.

The shirt in question is a white, long-sleeved one, with grey stripes and a block of mint green color at the top part. It’s something either of them could have, really, except Allen would usually prefer hoodies.

Kanda snorts. “Yeah, that’s mine, Sprout. But you can have it—I’ve outgrown it. _You_ , meanwhile…”

“Shut up.” Allen’s face flushes. “What do you want?”

Kanda returns his gaze defiantly, before plopping down on the bed and kicking his shoes off. “I want to know what was up with you and the rabbit,” he says, turning to look at Allen over his shoulder.  “You freaks were acting weird.”

 _That_ makes Allen’s heart beat faster. While Kanda is generally dense, he has this internal freaky radar for picking up distress signals. So he probably had seen through Lavi. And Allen himself.

Allen averts his eyes and says, “Nothing was up.” Because he’s sworn secrecy to Lenalee, and he sure isn’t going to be the one tattling about Lavi’s feelings.  “We just happened to have _other things_ to do.”

Kanda, of course, doesn’t buy it. He slides his legs up on the bed and shifts to lie down on his side, propping himself on an elbow to get a closer look at Allen’s increasingly nervous expression—because _why the hell is he so close?_ Though he really shouldn’t be _that_ nervous, because didn’t Kanda do this a lot when they were younger? On some bad days where Allen wanted nothing more than to just curl up in bed and not deal with the world in general.

“You’re hiding something.” A statement. One which Allen cannot confirm nor negate. Not with the way those dark eyes bore into his own, and—

“I _told_ you I had to prepare a room for Anita!” Allen inches away until his shoulder is pressed against the wall. “Do you want me to show you how squeaky clean the guest bedroom is now? Because I actually spent _hours_ making up the room?” he says with more confidence, because technically, he isn’t lying about this one.

Kanda stares. Allen holds his gaze—and no, his heart isn’t beating faster.

Then, Kanda finally snorts and drops his head onto the pillow, shifting to lie on his back beside Allen. He reaches over to take the iPod from Allen’s other side, plugs one piece of the earphone in his left ear and turns the iPod on. He cringes momentarily, comments, “You’re going to be deaf one day,” and turns down the volume to a more tolerable level.

“Shut up,” Allen replies, still frowning at his friend. “Why are you still here?”

Kanda turns to face him, thumbing to the general direction of the window and says, “I just climbed a goddamn tree trying to get in here, Dipshit. I deserve to stay a while.”

Allen rolls his eyes. “No one told you to climb the _goddamn tree_ , BaKanda.” But of course, Kanda chooses to ignore him. Then, “You’re gonna hurt your head lying down with your stupid ponytail.”

And without thinking, Allen twists his body to reach Kanda’s hair with both hands, pulling at his hair tie until it comes lose, freeing the bound hair—like he’s done a number of times before, but—

When he looks back down, Kanda is watching him and their faces are _too close_ and—

Kanda swats his hands away, and then proceeds to continue ignoring Allen.

Which, this time, Allen is thankful for. He reaches for the other ear bud and plugs it into his right ear, before closing his eyes and trying to concentrate on the song—not the way their shoulders are touching nor the image of Kanda’s close-up face.

He blames his thundering heart on Lenalee. Because she told him about her feelings for Kanda, and it must have given Allen ideas that he’s now _a little_ too aware of Kanda’s existence in general.

 

.

.

.

 **.** **Scene.**

Allen feels warm. Perhaps, a little warmer than normal. Which, he wouldn’t have minded if only his stomach isn’t growling loudly and basically torturing him awake, asking to be fed.

When he finally manages to force his eyes open blearily, Allen nearly gets a heart attack, because—

“I swear your stomach is fucking noisier than your choice of music,” Kanda says in a sleep-laced voice, stretching in beside him before turning to face him, eyes still closed. “Go get something to eat; I want to sleep in peace.”

“Wait—why are you still here?” Allen asks, bewildered. Then, “Actually, did we fall asleep? What time is it—”

There’s a hand over his mouth and Kanda glares at him sleepily. “Fuck, Beansprout, shut up.”

Allen tilts his head until that hand is off his mouth—falls instead, over his cheek as Allen turns to glare back at his impromptu bedmate and—

“Allen? Are you awake?”

Before Allen could even register that distantly familiar voice—a _woman_ ’s voice—the door to his room is pushed open and—

“Oh my.” The tall, Asian woman stands by the open door, a hand over her mouth, surprise and amusement mixed in her eyes. “Pardon me, am I interrupting something?”

Allen tries not to groan—even as Kanda turns towards the door and _forgets to remove his hand_ from Allen’s cheek—and instead, says, “Hi, Anita. We were just—sleeping. _Innocently_.”

“Of course,” the woman chuckles and Allen _knows_ that knowing look.

She doesn’t believe him, and Allen really can’t blame her. _He_ wouldn’t believe him if he walked in on a scene like this.

“Now, would you like to introduce me to your boyfriend?”

Allen’s stomach growls loudly, and he’s never been so thankful for that.

.

.

.

. **Boredom.**

Kanda is, to put it simply, really good at anything to do with cutting things. He is absurdly proficient in cutting onions, for one, and other ingredients for that matter.

He is also very good at cutting hair—especially _Allen’s_ —and takes some sort of pleasure in standing menacingly in front of Allen with a pair of scissors in his hand as he grins and says, “Grab a stool, Sprout. You need a haircut.”

And this being a Saturday morning? Allen groans into his hand as he leans back on the couch. “Oh my god, it’s too early for this.” He pauses before abruptly pulls his hand away and asks, “Why are you here so early in the morning?”

Kanda raises an eyebrow. “It’s eight thirty.”

“It’s _early_ for a Saturday.”

Kanda rolls his eyes. “Shut up and get a stool. I’m going to trim your hair.”

Allen eyes him suspiciously.  Yes, his hair has gotten longer; just a bit over his nape. He could even tie it in a tiny ponytail if he tries, but. “You’re just bored, aren’t you?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Kanda makes a scissoring motion—which is too real with an actual scissor in hand, and adds, “I enjoy hacking your hair off. It’s relaxing.”

“You just enjoy trying to make me bald,” Allen retorts, but does as he’s told and grabs a stool from the kitchen,then brings it across the living room to the porch of his backyard.

From where she is standing behind the kitchen island, Anita watches the two through the open back door and listens as they start arguing over hair length and style and everything else with a raised eyebrow, followed by a fond smile.

She places a newly brewed cup of coffee in front of Cross who is sitting on the other side and asks, “Are you sure they’re not dating?”

Cross doesn’t look up from his newspaper. “Nah,” he says dismissively and uses one hand to take the cup of coffee, bringing it to his mouth.

Anita watches them again as Kanda starts working on trimming Allen’s hair while still bickering over nothing and everything, then asks again, “How long do you think until it gets anywhere?”

At that, Cross puts down his newspaper and actually turns to look—

—right when Allen yells at Kanda and Kanda places a hand over his head to force Allen to face forward once again; their raised voices get carried over into the kitchen like some pleasant background noise.

Cross snorts, then takes a sip of his coffee. “Not anytime soon, if _ever_ ,” he says. “Brats are still clueless idiots anyway.”

.

.

.

. **Smile.**

Monday rolls around and Allen is reminded unwillingly of the current dilemma his little group of friends is facing.

Lenalee’s been beaming since morning, which is good, but Lavi?

He is suspiciously getting apt at _not bumping into them_. Not even at lunch. Allen feels slightly resentful of that, because now he has the role of ‘third wheel’ to fulfill. Lenalee has been talking animatedly at Kanda, sometimes glancing at Allen and trying to get him into the conversation as well, which he is thankful for. But, still…

“Where’s the rabbit?” Kanda finally asks, and Allen nearly cringes in Lavi’s stead.

“Oh,” says Lenalee, “He said he had library duties…”

“Bull.” Kanda rolls his eyes. “He’s a senior now. We don’t get library duties here at this time of year.” When they are only a few months away from graduation.

Now, Lenalee’s frowning too. “True… that’s—weird.” That Lavi would come up with such a lame ass excuse.

“Maybe he just—has something to do that he can’t tell us yet,” Allen murmurs. He could guess why Lavi didn’t show up, but.

Kanda scoffs lightly, clearly not believing his half-assed attempt at covering for the redhead.

“Oh hey, Al, did you get a haircut?” Lenalee asks suddenly, effectively switching the subject and drawing their attention away from the redhead.

Allen reaches up to finger the end of his hair right behind his nape. “Oh, this. Yeah. Kanda was bored.”

Lenalee tilts her head in askance. “Kanda?”

To her right, Kanda snorts into his can of green tea. “Your hair was bothering me.”

“No, you just wanted something to cut,” Allen snipes back. “Now my hair is all chopped off.”

“Wait, wait.” Lenalee holds up her hand, eyeing between the two of them with mild amusement and—something else. “Are you saying _Kanda_ gave you a haircut?”

“It was just trimming.” Kanda rolls his eyes. “Beansprout was just being dramatic.”

“Hey!”

“But Allen, your hair looks good.” Lenalee cuts off with a smile. Then, she turns her eyes to Kanda, and is it just Allen or does she look kind of—hopeful? “I didn’t know you could give haircuts,” she starts with a smile. “Could you give me one too, maybe?”

“You shouldn’t,” Allen blurts out before he can stop himself. But that’s because—“Your hair is so beautiful and smooth. He’ll mess it up. He doesn’t know the concept of being gentle.”

“Oi, I’ll really shave you bald one day.” Kanda stretches his leg out to kick Allen’s lightly. Ignoring the boy’s protest, he turns to Lenalee and says, “He’s got a point, though. I can cut his hair just because I’ve been doing it forever.”

“Oh,” Lenalee says softly. “I see. You guys really _are_ close.”

She’s smiling as she says that, but those words? Allen can’t help but notice something sharp in her tone, and that?

Makes him wish he wasn’t on the receiving end of it.

.

.

.

**\- t b c -**

 

* * *

 

**E X T R A :**

 

“Oi. Brat.”

Kanda turns his head just as he’s finished helping Allen cleaning up the hair on the floor. Looking up, his eyes met Cross as the man meanders to the porch. “What?” he answers gruffly.

Cross walks over to the stool and drops himself there, before pointing at his long, wild strands of red hair. “Do my hair too.”

Kanda stares.

 _Allen_ stares.

“What? My hair also needs trimming every now and then.”

“Just do it.” Allen elbows Kanda’s arm lightly. Sure, Kanda might have never done Cross’ hair before, but Cross has always had wild hair. Even if Kanda messed up, no one would probably notice.

Kanda rolls his eyes, but he finally moves to stand behind Cross, undoing the low ponytail, before sectioning his hair using some extra hairties and clips Allen provides him out of nowhere and starts working.

As Allen watches them from just a few steps behind, he cannot help but think how _surreal_ this looks. Kanda trimming Cross’ hair. He wonders what Tiedoll would think about this if he saw it, but personally? Allen could probably get used to this.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting and still reading this! I hope you enjoyed this update. Please let me know what you think of this? It would certainly motivate me. :"D
> 
> Also, if you'd like, please also drop a word for Panda who had drawn the fanart!


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